Anonymous asked: have you ever been in a serious relationship?
I have. It was seriously boring.
(But yes, to answer your question I have been in more than one)
I will never see
I understand, I am not what you wanted. I cannot apologize for what I am in part because you made me this way. I am not loud, social, nor full of laughter. I am anxious, silent, resigned, and tired. Apparently I do not eat enough. This is just how I naturally am and years ago I asked you to accept me, but you did not. You did not even tolerate me. You have always pushed me away. You find fault with me and everything pertinent. There is nothing we have in common.
You resent me, I understand.
Anonymous asked: If someone were to have a crush on you, hypothetically, what would they have to do to get your attention?
The courage it takes to straightforwardly admit such heartfelt affection would certainly catch my attention, and that kind of rare honesty is something I admire in anyone.
On one hand there is the urge to say “you deserve better”, on the other hand there is the struggle to keep it inside because one is afraid the addressee may come to their senses and leave.
(I must apologize for the lack of clarity as I am having trouble writing today… )
Internal conflicts sometimes stay that way because one feels guilty for telling someone because they know from experience that everyone has problems (some more than others, of course) but think that constantly speaking of their own paints themselves as perpetually miserable. One feels that if that person walks away it is because they were overburdened or tired of being brought down. It has happened to everyone at least once. The feeling is that one has abused the listening ear, which only worsens one’s original feelings. Those to whom it has frequently occurred feel they have learned a costly lesson: keep it inside.
Doing so only worsens one’s state, and so one must look for another outlet. Some look to writing, or whatever creative medium can accomplish this for them. Some take long walks, if each step removes a little more of the weight. If they can others sleep it off and awake refreshed.
So what mode of release would you choose if you had no one to talk to?
On a related note, do you answer truthfully if someone asks “How are you?”
Anonymous asked: what nationality/nationalities are you? (i know it doesn't really matter, but i'm ravenously curious.)
I am half Indian and half English.
Anonymous asked: Now that we've established the nature of your personality, tell me this: What is your secret?
I am a mass of secrets, more than one. I would rather not post any of them, and I hope you understand. Come off anon and we can talk.
Anonymous asked: I never said that you were, my dear. You just have a magnetic personality, obviously. x
Considering the affectionate messages, I suppose so. :) x
Anonymous asked: You're unfortunate to have so many affectionate Anons. They make you look as if you're anonymously sending love letters to yourself!
I am simply not that kind of person.
Anonymous asked: She lives a colorful life.
Is that a hint?
Anonymous asked: Have you given up on her?
As I don’t know who she is, I cannot say.